Sometime in your twenties there’s a good chance that you’ll be living with roommates. Whether these are good friends, a significant other, or just random people you found on Craig’s List, there are a plethora of considerations to make that will ultimately give you and your roommates a more enjoyable (and less stressful) living environment.
Be Considerate
Even if you stop reading here, at least you’ll have already read the two most important words written on this page. Simply being a considerate roommate will make your roommate experience that much more positive. As the old adage goes, don’t do something that you wouldn’t want done to you. Don’t put an empty milk carton back in the fridge without replacing it when you know that that would drive you nuts if someone else did that to you. Even beyond this, though, consider the fact that you and your roommate(s) are not the same person. Maybe things that wouldn’t bother you may bother him/her. Maybe you’re the kind of person that doesn’t care if friends / family randomly drop in for a night or a weekend, but maybe your roommate is the type of person that would like to know ahead of time. Simply taking two minutes to give your roommate(s) a heads up could avoid a potentially stressful situation for all parties involved. Making assumptions about your roommates’ feelings, even if they’re people you think you know through and through, is a good way to create unnecessary conflict. In the end, taking a second to consider how your ideal roommate would behave in various situations will ultimately make your life and the lives of your roommates a lot more enjoyable.
Which brings me to one of the most common issue among roommates…
Cleanliness is next to godliness
At least in communal areas of the apartment. If you’re a messy person, keep your mess in the areas that are yours (bedroom, etc.). Nobody wants to clean your dirty dishes or have to scrub your leftover toothpaste off of the bathroom sink. There’s no more frustrating roommate than one who you have to either 1) constantly clean up after or 2) constantly insist that they clean up after themselves. The worst areas are almost always the kitchen and bathroom, where people’s tolerance to varying levels of mess vary as greatly as their cleaning schedules. Here are some simple ground rules:
Kitchen
- Dirty dishes / pots in the sink are not OK. This is especially true if there is a limited number of plates, bowls, silverware, cookware, etc. Go back to our first rule (BE CONSIDERATE)…if you were getting home from being at work all day do you want to have to clean up the kitchen before you can cook dinner? Probably not, and neither do your roommates.
- Don’t leave food / cooking remnants strewn about the counters. Basically goes back to what’s said above…nobody wants to try and cook in a dirty kitchen, and nobody wants to have to clean the kitchen before they can make dinner when they’ve been at work all day.
- Take out the garbage when it’s full. See below, but really use common sense here…
Bathroom
- Hair clogging up the drain is not OK. Standing ankle-deep in dirty shower water because your roommate’s hair is clogging the drain is no fun, nor is the soap-scum build up it causes. Clean out your hair when you’re done, and buy some Drano.
- Toothpaste / other gunk on the mirror or counter is not OK. If you can’t brush your teeth without getting toothpaste everywhere then get into the habit of wiping down the sink area after you brush.
- Not necessarily a cleanliness thing, but don’t use the last roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and not replace it. That’s just rude.
There are plenty of other things that could be listed here, but these are just a few examples of things you should be thinking about.
Split up the chores
Nobody wants to be the only person taking out the garbage or vacuuming the living room. As with most of this stuff, the best thing to do is set up some type of system or ground rules with your roommates before the situation gets out of hand. Don’t just assume that things will get taken care of. This is especially true when you’re moving in with friends. Being friends doesn’t preclude roommate conflict, so make sure you have this talk with your roommates even if they’re people you’ve known since you were just learning to walk.
Money, money, and more money
This is a big one, and definitely goes under the list of “things to solve before you move a single box into your new apartment/house/etc.” Sit down with your roommates and figure out what all your definite bills are (rent, electric, heat, etc.) and what all the “other” expenses are (internet, cable, etc.). The reason that you should consider this type of grouping is because there are certain expenses that not everyone is going to be concerned with (or necessarily want). Things like rent and electric are generally divided equally since everyone uses them. The other expenses, such as cable, are less clear. You may absolutely require HD cable with the sports package, but your roommate may not even own a TV. While it’s likely that things like this will ultimately be split in an equal manner, you do not want to find out that your roommate doesn’t want to pay for cable when your cable bill is due in two days. Better to figure these things out before hand.
One of the least clear expenses that falls under this category is groceries. Splitting groceries can result in awkward situations, but so can having completely separate grocery lists. Three gallons of milk in the fridge doesn’t sound like a big deal, but wait till you see it. Again, discussing this type of thing before hand is the best way to avoid any potential issues.
How the bills are actually going to be paid also needs to be considered. There are a few different options for paying bills with roommates. While the feasibility of each is going to vary depending on the situation, this is again something that needs to be absolutely clear before you or any of your roommates sign a lease or any other contract.
The perks of living with roommates are many. Shared expenses mean lower expenses and having friends around to hang out with is great, and to make sure that those relationships work for the long term, setting a few simple ground rules never hurt!
